Thursday, January 17, 2013

I am a Saltine Cracker

Today, driving with my mom to work, I was able to text my friend. We were both "bland". So she called us Saltine Crackers. 

I now feel like a Soggy Saltine Cracker. But not a beautiful, I am in Soup like I belong, soggy. Oh no. Some bratty little kid decided to kick me into a muddy puddle Soggy. Fuuunnn stuff.

I blame this all on college. Or Life and College. 

See, I want to start college now. Get a move on with my life and stop sitting at home reading all day (not that that's bad. I just want some math problems to do.). So, sent in my application for Spring Semester at a nearby community college. So, going in  to set everything up - awesome!!

Until.... The night before, I realize... I WANT TO GO AWAY FOR COLLEGE!!!!! Like, next fall (and, yes, I just used "like" inappropriately. That is what happens when you are a soggy saltine. Try it some time and watch how abused "like" becomes). Well, does it make any sense to start community college right now then and waste precious financial aide? I already have so little of it as is. 

That alone is annoying. Okay government, thank you for telling me that my dad's last job was enough to pay for my college now. He has a new job with less money. And he wasn't going to give me any money anyway. Dear government, when you ASSUME things, you just make a ass of you and me (since i look like one for being so mad). 

So Soggy Saltine Cracker over here has had college EXPLODE all over her. 


And I'm not all happy like this guy (Orlando Bloom it may be under all that sliiiiimmmmeeee). I'm sitting there glaring and pouting. Like this....

Only not as cute. Or so I think. I may look that cute and be taken not-seriously at all as I sit there and glare and pout. And I may throw some shoes while I'm at it.

Oh. funny story. I was throwing shoes. All of my shoes. Starting with my lethal pair of sparkly pink stilettos.  Then my less-lethal pair of glittery silver heels. Then my thick-heeled boots. Then my combat boots. That aren't really combat boots, but I love them anyway. Then my sneakers. Then finally my fake Toms. The ones that are practically slippers. See --------------------->>>

But mine are wimpier. THOSE are the ones that put a hole in my door. Not any of the lethal heels. Nope. My slipper shoes. 

I guess that being a Soggy Saltine Cracker adds Super Strength to Slipper Shoes (probably just for the alliteration). So watch out for those Soggy Saltines!

1 comment:

Naomi Ruth Thompson said...

You can be cute when you pout.

I have the same problem. I would be pouting and grouching and my Roommate would point at me and say, "You're so adorable!"


And why colleges assume father's pay for their children's colleges I have no idea.