Bring a writer and a student, I am required to use a computer on a weekly basis. I love the way typing feels and the little clicks that belong to each key my monstrous man-hands touch. Sometimes, if I could, I would spend five hours just typing away and forgetting that there is a world around that has people I do not control and I am a human so I need to eat sometime in my life. The main problem with that sort of enjoyment, besides that I would neglect myself, is that I don't really have access to a computer that I can use. Lucky me.
But, before I do get my hand son one, I need to find some program out there that has a setting just for poetry. I am not kidding, I will find one. today I have been typing up a bunch of poems and songs - things that don't really have punctuation at the end of a line and lines are not meant to be capitol. ARE NOT MEANT TO BE CAPITOL. And I think I used the wrong spelling, but I don't care. I am too lazy to check and am not too fond of that words anyway.
Honestly, certain poems that are not capitalized at the beginning of every line have power through the capitalization. that's how most of mine go and they lose that quality while Microsoft stubbornly refuses to stop capitalizing all my lines.
Words that I know exist also suddenly become just a figment of my imagination. Now, I use words that are not "real" all the time, but I mean English words this time. Also, what is it with the whole you spelled your name wrong. Thank you Microsoft for letting me in on the fact that apparently my whole family is a bunch of liars just trying to confuse me!
Anyway... the sun is shining, I have access to computers, and no one has stolen all my random scattered papers yet. Today is good and I will smile.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Flyleaf: Besides being one of my all time favorite bands, I am dwelling on them because I get to go to their concert on Monday. It happened all of a sudden. Only two weeks from the concert my father decides to tell me; ironically, the same day that I was thinking of how i was going to miss the concert I had heard of and knew was in May. Now, I am officially getting my butt carted off to a theater to see them. I hear the little voice I call Ralph scream a victorious yeas when I walk through the door and find out my tickets are secured. Only one thing left to do - figure out how to take a nap while babysitting.
Flyleaf does have an amazing sound that matches me, in my opinion, but even more so, the thing that really keeps me hooked are the lyrics. "The moonless dark meant to make me strong" is how I feel most of the time when I feel the floor disappear from underneath my feet. "Swept Away" is lyrical genius to a degree I for one will never reach. "Sorrow" and "Arise" I could (and have) replay many times and not find myself sick of. *sigh* I can't wait! And yes, I did just squeal that in my head like the typical girl would do out loud. Except I am in no way typical nor normal.
Frocks: Lacey Moseley wears the most amazing dresses, a.k.a. frocks, half the time and I want the one she wore in the "fully Alive" music video for the party I am being forced to have. The only reason I look forward to it is that I have been promised I can either look Greek, Elvish, Fae, or Renaissance. Something tells me when it's not my own party I will have a hard time explaining what exactly is up with the wings and/or arrows attached to my back... I also have a sweet sixteen to find a dress for. In honor of conversations had with the birthday girl I threaten to wear a pirated dress and claim Orlando Bloom as my soulmate just to see her reaction.
Fragments: A.K.A. my mind. So many of my thoughts are coming to me in fragments that belong to songs, poems, and stories I can't write down because I am taking a test in Spanish and must hand in the paper, or other such nonsense.
Fish: It starts with f and can also mean "girl" if you know me. I want to make a tuna melt right about now since it has been close to twelve hours since food last passed by my lips. And all because I was being kind to a friend. Darn friends and kindness!
- The trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.
- C. S. Lewis (1898 - 1963)
- I think he was on to something... I try to appear dumber than I am to blend in. next thing I know I can't remember "dragon" in Japanese. It's rather sad.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I closed my eyes tight and let my imagination take on the oddness it does every time I am bored in the class I am forced to take at seven thirty in the morning. Nothing was coming. Nothing. All I could come up with was the amount of calories in my yogurt and the likely number in my muffin. I have gym today. That means walking. I hope we don't go outside in the rain.
I forced my eyes open, scared that my imagination had finally vanished. That would mean no more turning to stone as I try to drift off to sleep because I heard a bump that could be a serial killer climbing up the side of my house. But... that would also mean no more Luna and feeling as if I am being transported to an alternate reality when I take a walk in my woods. It would mean a permanent writer's block outside of essays and no more making Mrs. Panzer laugh with the absurd comparisons I come up with. Could my spirit remain the same if my imagination disappeared.
I open my eyes and take a look around. Not even a hint of Fae here in this boring, white room. Why am I not relating Santo to some insane teacher Sage has to put up with. Oh no! i know what she is saying. Am I really paying attent... the answer is 6. that was simple. I never think math is simple! Help!
I spent the last minutes of class fretting about what I would do if this turned into a permanent problem. How would I survive.
Songwriting came and Spanish went. So did a few other classes and the whole of my day that forces learning upon me. I began freaking out; hyperventilating when the only thing that would run through my mind during satire was ninjas. I needed to be creative, actually needed to be, and here my mind was being stupid and blocked. I looked at my friend and solemnly let him know my mind was shutting down and I was going to cry tonight if it didn't restart. He laughed and said he loved my humor. ha. Ha. I am so hilarious. (He randomly just appeared over my shoulder and informed me that I did indeed appear to have a really bad case and that it was highly amusing to watch me. Yeah... i was sort of killing the cap of my pen and shaking my fist at the talent vampire sitting on my shoulder)
Then, walking in the dreary rain to make my way to the building designated for books and me, I felt the wind breathe on my neck. I spun around expecting to see Cedric. I breathed a sigh of relief as I realized it was only that invisible force aforementioned. No geeky vampire was getting me today. I was safe. But,wait a minute. How was Izzy doing then? Does Jackson ever make it back to her? What does she do with a vampire and this guy with amazing eyes? Holy dear! Why on earth is jack proposing to Sage...?
I had to hold myself down to keep from jumping up and down screaming "It's back!!!" what a relief. And then, that little dark part of my imagination that enjoys the shadows and such, well, he jumped on me and put people behind the bushes. Too happy to be bothered by him, I laughed and waved to the people lying in wait.
Banana nut muffins, do I scare myself at times.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Writing an essay I tried to describe an action as criminalistic. The computer has since been jumping down my throat screaming with its read squiggly line that reminds me of a psychopath near a cheek holding a knife, "You're an idiot! It's not a word! Loser!" Well, goshdarnit! it should be a word. I would love that to pieces and bake cookies for the dictionary that published it. I would be using a lot of flour then.
I still need to figure out why this site hates me and won't let me do anything!
I still need to figure out why this site hates me and won't let me do anything!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Supposedly, for the past qaurter hour, this lazy butt has been doing her current event due friday. Hahaha, that is a good one. Yeah, I have sorta been too busy scheming with myself about how to open a story and reading random stuff and playing with fonts to be doing anything productive. I take that back, the scheming was productive... If I had accomplished anything. But, no! My mind, apparently, refuses to let me open this darn story in anyway that I like. I have this whole scene mapped out in my mind and yesterday, during a softball game, I had the perfect words. This is why me and authority don't get along. Authority likes to tell me that I should not be writing my stories - when I have the perfect words!
Anyway... The current event I have just picked up is about this guy who used a meat hook to get electricity. The police people were all "that's stealing!" and "that's dangerous! You're gonna kill yourself!" Except, they had awsomely angry German accents and words because this happened in Berlin. I find this guy so awesome (if only because he went all MacGyver) and am happy to see we share the same blood. Which is obvious in the fact that i could come up with something absurdly genius but if I make one mistake, I die. This is why I would never trust myself to command an army that is real.
so, I said S is for snakes too, so I might as well tell the tale of the poor snake that never had the chance. I was walking my neighborhood, listening to my music (against the advice of my superior. hee hee ), when three little kids came running up, screaming my name. "Om my gosh, you have to see this!" "It was sooo cool! It's all bloody and still squirming!" "It's yucky!" "Yeah, I have to clean my favorite stick now." Yeah, when the nine year old boy with his adorable smile said this I wondered slightly how he could look so innocent while admitting to harming something.
I followed the band of young vagabonds to see what they were so desparate to show me. Ahem... not show me, but rather see the look of disgust/amusement/horror/laughter/scorn/pride that came across my face at the sight. The amazing thing? they had chopped a snake in three using a doll. No, I am not at all sure how they worked that one out, but they did. It was a hideous doll though... But, their pride was in beheading a reptile and then chopping the rest of it in half. Aren't the little kids I know just darling?