Monday, May 3, 2010

S is for snake... and slacking off

Supposedly, for the past qaurter hour, this lazy butt has been doing her current event due friday. Hahaha, that is a good one. Yeah, I have sorta been too busy scheming with myself about how to open a story and reading random stuff and playing with fonts to be doing anything productive. I take that back, the scheming was productive... If I had accomplished anything. But, no! My mind, apparently, refuses to let me open this darn story in anyway that I like. I have this whole scene mapped out in my mind and yesterday, during a softball game, I had the perfect words. This is why me and authority don't get along. Authority likes to tell me that I should not be writing my stories - when I have the perfect words!


Anyway... The current event I have just picked up is about this guy who used a meat hook to get electricity. The police people were all "that's stealing!" and "that's dangerous! You're gonna kill yourself!" Except, they had awsomely angry German accents and words because this happened in Berlin. I find this guy so awesome (if only because he went all MacGyver) and am happy to see we share the same blood. Which is obvious in the fact that i could come up with something absurdly genius but if I make one mistake, I die. This is why I would never trust myself to command an army that is real.

so, I said S is for snakes too, so I might as well tell the tale of the poor snake that never had the chance. I was walking my neighborhood, listening to my music (against the advice of my superior. hee hee ), when three little kids came running up, screaming my name. "Om my gosh, you have to see this!" "It was sooo cool! It's all bloody and still squirming!" "It's yucky!" "Yeah, I have to clean my favorite stick now." Yeah, when the nine year old boy with his adorable smile said this I wondered slightly how he could look so innocent while admitting to harming something.

I followed the band of young vagabonds to see what they were so desparate to show me. Ahem... not show me, but rather see the look of disgust/amusement/horror/laughter/scorn/pride that came across my face at the sight. The amazing thing? they had chopped a snake in three using a doll. No, I am not at all sure how they worked that one out, but they did. It was a hideous doll though... But, their pride was in beheading a reptile and then chopping the rest of it in half. Aren't the little kids I know just darling?


SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

mwa hahahaha! I have found you! and now you can't get away!

Haha! they killed it with a DOLL? Srsly? *barfs a little*

VW: adist - one who sells advertisements

AchingHope said...

Ahahahahahaha... That is disgustingly brilliant.

This is why I would never trust myself to command an army that is real. You are so hilariously spastic. I love it.

ElvishVampireHobbit94 said...

Sonshine: No!!!!!! ah! already I can feel my life draining....
Uh... not really. You made me happy =] And, yes, seriously. Little kids are psycho

AchingHope: So do I, so do I. If I wasn't I might just hate myself.

AchingHope said...

I am still a little but in awe over the whole dissecting a snake with a doll.

ElvishVampireHobbit94 said...

I know. It's so random but, unless I'm mistaken, it's true. Which scares me.