Here's a list of those little things:
1. When I wake up on a Saturday morning and my family is home so I have to put on pants if I want to get food.
2. The days when I wake up only to realize I fell asleep as soon as I got home and thus there are pants on my body because this is how I usually am:
3. When I mention Kali in a conversation and people think I am referring to Cali, as in California. People, Kali is an awesome Hindu goddess who likes eating food and doesn't diet until she looks like death. Partially because some days she purposely looks like death anyway.
4. When bugs crawl into my book while I am reading outside and whoops, I became a murderer.
5. People's obsession with having a gap between their thighs. Only super slim-hipped people can pull this off without me wanting to to start poking their legs.
6. The random bruises and cuts that appear all over my body for no reason I can think of.
You know what I mean. That time you went to sleep then woke up with Texas on your thigh but the only thing you could have hit was your stuffed teddy bear.
7. Little tiny children having girlfriends and boyfriends. Okay, not little tiny children. When they are 3 it is adorable. But any time between 7 and 17 I want to whack them. I mean, really, little bitty 14 year olds are babies. What are they doing??
8. Tiny dogs (so anything below my knee).
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| Me whenever I hear the sound of those little tiny painful claws or the sound of their godawful yapping |
10. Having to take showers. I mean, seriously, if I didn't play in the mud why is there a need to get clean? Stupid hair. (Yeah, I am still the four year old girl who would run half-naked into a Vermont winter to avoid baths)
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